The lack of sleep has been rough. Really really rough. Last week I received an email from a friend who had a baby in July. She was complaining that her 6 week old was still waking every 2-3 hours, and despite she and her husband splitting the baby duties at night and having her MIL stay overnight for baby duty twice a week, this new mom was so tired and struggling. I wanted to reach through my iPhone and bitch slap her. But instead I settled for a laugh and read it to my husband with a, "What did she expect with having a baby?!" comment. I contemplated a snarky response to the effect of, "Well, I wish I could give you advice on getting your newborn to sleep, but my 9 MONTH old is still waking every 1-3 hours." I refrained from doing this, took a deep breath and reminded myself of one of my favorite quotes, "Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle" - Plato.
Sure, my circumstances may be worse and more stressful than hers, but it's not a competition. We all just have to play with the hand we are dealt. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, yada yada.
This week I have felt on the verge of losing it. Lack of sleep has been a big factor, but also now that Mr.P is out of the hospital and we can let out our breath I feel the weight of all the stress that's been sitting on my back while I rushed around in survival mode last week. In rehashing the details of the past few weeks to both the pediatrician and a friend at church yesterday, I burst into tears both times. A lot of that though had to do with lack of sleep and how it makes me emotional.
In the early afternoon I took Mr.P to the hospital to have his drain tube/bag removed, and upon coming home he encouraged me to go out and spend some time and money by myself while he supervised the kids. This was a much needed break. I went to my favorite handbag boutique that allows you to pick out the fabric and materials and design your own bag that they will put together. I am really excited about the bag I designed and can't wait for it to be ready in a few weeks. I decided to go with a large tote bag since I am often cramming baby/toddler gear into my purse for short outings and leaving the diaper bag at home. I also spent a birthday gift card at DSW to get a cute new pair of shoes, and I treated myself to a new cardigan at Eddie Bauer. It was a nice break to go out without worrying about my husband or children or random caregiver at home with the kids.
Today we woke up to what really felt like fall. I desperately craved a pumpkin spice latte, and I wrapped my arms up in my new warm cardigan and took in some fresh air on the porch swing.
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