And in that moment, I became my mother.

My mom is notorious for freaking out. In the midst of panic or injury, she is the one totally losing it. This is one of the reasons I do not list her on my medical ID bracelet as an emergency contact. I remember in 7th grade during a gymnastics meet, I was vaulting and during my pass over the horse, my hands slipped and I landed on my neck and back with a hard thud. From where I lay on the mats, with the wind knocked out of me, I could see the parents sitting in the bleachers (upside down from my vantage point). I remember seeing my mom who had been sitting near the top, fly down to the bottom in a matter of seconds and rush to my side. I'd never seen her move so fast. She was screaming and crying. I ended up being fine, just a little sprain (though the girl who vaulted a few people after me wasn't so lucky, she broke her arm (radius and ulna bones sticking out of her arm in a very disgusting way. It turns out the person who set up the horse for the vault did not have it at the correct height).

I generally can remain calm and rational during an emergency situation, afterall I used to work as am emergency dispatcher for the police department when I was in college. But when it comes to my children being hurt - I may freak out just a little. Or a lot.

Last night while I was trying to get dinner ready, the kids were playing in their room and in the hallway off the kitchen. I heard a primal scream just after the door to the kids room shut. I knew instantly what had happened. I came around the corner to find P5 laying on the floor gasping for breath he was in so much pain. His left hand was mangled and turning purple. His pinkie finger was flat and sticking out funny. He had his hand in the door jam (hinge side) and M2 shut the door pinching his tiny hand. I went into crazy mama bear mode. Crying, pacing around, and I called my husband in a panic. He told me to calm down, get the kids in the car and go to the hospital and he would meet us there. We are lucky to live in the city and be 10 minutes away from Children's Hospital. But that is 10 minutes in no traffic. This was rush hour evening commute times. I must have looked like a crazy person (or a drunk) the way I was aggressively driving to get to the hospital. Both kids were crying (P5's a high pitched pain cry, and M2's a whimpering sympathy cry). In 25 minutes we made it to the hospital. Mr.P met us outside, and I whisked P5 in to the ER while Mr.P parked the car and got M2 out of her seat.

By the time we arrived at the ER, his hand had taken on it's normal shape, but his fingers were swelling up and his pinkie had an obvious blood blister forming under the skin. It took about 3 hours of waiting, quick exam, more waiting, x-rays, more waiting, pain meds for the little guy, more waiting, consult with the doctor, more waiting, then discharge. Luckily no bones were broken. They said it will likely be swollen and tender for a few days, but he's going to be OK.

If only I could wrap my babies in bubble wrap each day to protect them, I would. I know this is the first of many bad owies P5 will have, and I just hope that next time I can stay a little more calm in the moment.

My baby, sleeping after we got home from the hospital. You can see how swollen his left hand was.