As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, hardly anyone knows we're expecting. We've told our parents/siblings and a few really close friends. So far co-workers, church friends, extended family and other friends do not know.
I'm not really a "make an announcement" kind of girl. I don't feel comfortable sending out an email or making an announcement at a party or anything like that. Not my style. I do not like to be the center of attention. I guess part of it too is that I have a few hesitations about telling people.
1. It opens the door for judgement and gossip. I know that as a Christian I should not worry about these things, but as a human I do. Besides, as terrible as it is, some of the people in our church circle are the worst when it comes to gossip. I don't want my happy news to feed some of those peoples need to gossip. My stomach turns at the thought of this. Also, I feel somewhat protective of my news; like I should be the one to share it. I know how things work in a large group - word travels fast.
2. I don't want to deal with the belly touches. It seems like common sense that it's not cool to randomly reach out and grab/touch a woman's stomach, but for some reason there is a large percentage of the population who seem to think that during pregnancy it is OK. Actually, it's not. I don't even like my own husband grabbing or poking at my stomach, let alone others. I dread the possible belly touches (and I know that it will only get worse as I start to show more). Right now with the amount of fat/bloat my middle section is holding, I would be horrified to have anyone touch it!
3. Pregnancy can evoke a lot of emotion in people. While I know that most of our friends/co-workers will be happy for us, I do worry about the people who have a hard time with pregnancy announcements. I remember back in October being at a bridal shower where someone made a pregnancy announcement. During that time we were having difficulty getting pregnant, and I remember feeling like I wanted to cry (not because I was mad, but because I was envious and sad about my own situation at the time). I would hate to cause that kind of pain/sadness on anyone else. Infertility is often a very private matter and I just have no idea if anyone in our social or work circles is going through that.
4. I don't want it to change how people see me. Sure I'll be adding a new dimension to my life (becoming a mother) and that is sure to cause some changes. I just don't want people to think it means I don't want to hang out, do dinner parties, or have hobbies. I know I'll be busy (especially in the first 6 months) but I am ready to take on the new challenge without giving up anything else in my life.
5. It's also kind of fun just having a secret. Walking around at work knowing that I have a special secret that no one here knows....
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