Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of lent. Last year was the first year in our lives that Mr.P and I gave something up. We chose alcohol, because for us it was the most obvious choice of something we would notice missing from our lives. Not that we are boozehounds or anything, but we were in the habit of enjoying a glass or two of either beer or wine with dinner each night. Giving up alcohol was a good experience, and we both stuck to our committment. Mr.P liked to joke, "Nothing like the wrath of God to make us not cheat!"
Mr.P is going to give up alcohol again. I had a hard time coming up with something I could meaningfully give up. Obviously I already gave up alcohol months ago when I found out I was pregnant. During lent I could also take on a new committment such as volunteering rather than giving something up, but I am hesitant to take on any new committments right now with all I have going on in my life (I barely have time to do laundry and dishes). I finally decided that I will give up candy. In the past few months I've taken to eating candy at least a few times a week, and indulging in my sweet tooth whenever I have the opportunity. During the second trimester it is important to maintain good nutrition as the baby grows and it's brain, central nervous system and organs continue developing.
As for brushing off, I am trying to not let people's comments get to me. We publicly "outed" the pregnancy on facebook last week. On the one hand it is nice to now be talking about it with more people, and for the most part people have been excited for us. But it has also opened the floodgates for unsolicited advice and rude questions. I am really tired of people asking if this baby was an accident. If you are reading this, please promise me you'll never ask somebody that. If they want to offer the info, fine, but asking is invasive and rude. For the record, yes, our baby was planned. When people have asked me I don't really feel comfortable going into the specifics with them (such as explaining how planned this baby was - that I had to take fertility medication to become pregnant). It makes me wonder why people would think our baby was an accident. Do I not seem maternal enough? Do we seem like irresponsible people?
I've also been really surprised how many people seem upset we didn't tell them sooner. It's really a personal decision. Some people start calling everyone they know while the pee is still wet on the pregnancy test. That's fine for them. I did not want to tell everyone we knew about the baby in case something were to go wrong (lets face it...miscarriage rates are very high in the first trimester. Scary high.) I wanted to make sure we had a healthy growing baby before we let everyone know because I would have felt horrible having to "untell" the news to people had something gone wrong early on. I would have definitely appreciated the support and comfort of our families and closest friends, but I would not have been comfortable with everyone knowing. Granted there is always the possibility of something going wrong at any point in a pregnancy, but I feel pretty good now knowing the odds of a miscarriage are now less than 1%.
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