We've been kind of laying low the past month or so. Part of it is that we've been super busy. The other part is that I don't want to have to lie about why I'm not drinking alcohol (and trust me, people will notice if PhinneyGirl isn't drinking!)
A few times early in the pregnancy we did the fake-out; at restaurants with friends I ordered a beer, and had my drink sitting close to Mr.P's drink. I occassionally brought the glass to my lips and pretended to drink. Between drinking his drink, Mr.P would take gulps of mine. No one seemed to notice that I wasn't actually drinking. He also did this with a glass of wine at a dinner party we were at. Another night I was at a girls movie night and the so-called cocktail I mixed up for myself was really just juice. Last night we were at a friends housewarming party (which sadly had two great kegs of beer I would have loved to drink). At first I carried around a keg cup with a few inches of beer to keep suspicions at bay...but I found it was difficult because I had to concentrate on not drinking it. I was afraid I'd inadvertantly start drinking it while talking without realizing what I was doing. So instead I ditched the cup and stuck to bottled water. I also realized, "who cares?" If someone was bold enough to ask me if I was pregnant, I would probably have just lied to them. I think it's pretty rude to ask someone if they are pregnant. If someone is, they'll tell you when they're ready to tell you.
As for who we have told...not many people. Since we found out right before our cruise, Mr.P and I didn't have time to tell our families, and we wanted to wait until Christmas (at that point we'd be about 6 weeks along*) and since the rate of miscarriage in the first few weeks is so high, we wanted to wait a bit. We told my sister and her husband right away when we got to their house for the holidays, and we told my parents on Christmas Eve. Mr.P told his family via phone on Christmas Eve as well. We decided to hold off on telling any other family or friends until we were further along.
After our first OB appt we told 3 of our closest friends, and 1 set of our closest couple friends. Even though we've seen the heart beat, the first trimester is the most likely time for miscarriage. I don't want to have to "untell" our news if god forbid something were to go wrong, and I feel like if something did go wrong, the few friends we have told would be there for us. At this point, the risk of miscarriage is about 5-10%, and after 13 weeks we'll be into the second trimester where the risk drops down to less than 1%. Our next OB appt is on February 12th, which will put us just at 13 weeks. Assuming everything checks out normal, we'll be ready to tell other people.
*Maybe you aren't aware of this, because until a few months ago I didn't realize it either. Apparently when people talk about pregnancy in weeks, it begins at the first day of the mother's last menstral period. Conception actually happens at 2 weeks, and often the soonest you can find out your pregnant is at 3 1/2 to 4 weeks along.
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