Friday, May 6, 2011

Has Emily Post left the building?

Yesterday I received an invitation to a baby shower. Upon opening it I was wowed by how beautiful and creative the handmade invitation was, by far the nicest shower invite I've ever received. But then I began to read the details, and aside from the names of stores the couple are registered at, it explicitly outlined what is allowed to be bought and not bought. WTF?! Do not buy clothes since they have plenty. Do not buy toys that are electric or battery powered. Please buy diapers, but only a particular brand.

Maybe I'm old school, but is this kind of behavior socially acceptable now a days? I get it - showers are all about "showering" gifts onto the new mother. But when I get an invite that so blatantly tells me what I should/shouldn't buy, I find it off putting. I thought the point of the registry was to suggest things you'd like, but really the gift decision should be up to the giver. And in regards to buying clothes - isn't half the fun of the shower oohing and aahing over how cute all the tiny clothes are?

In the past year I've been to several baby showers, and for each of those showers I lovingly put together a basket of items I found super helpful with my first baby and I included an assortment of homemade baby items. I put time, energy, thought, and money into these baskets. But then receiving this invite yesterday with all it's specific requests regarding gifts...I'm not so eager to do the same. (The only gift giving faux paux I find more obnoxious is when people ask for money in lieu of gifts).

I try to be polite, nod my head and smile when I hear people without kids make bold "I will never" statements for when they have kids. (They'll learn.) I also have to remind myself that I too once made those kinds of statements. If only I could find Doc Brown and the DeLorean so I could go back in time and bitch slap my pre-kids self whenever I was about to utter one of those statements.

The biggest thing I have learned as I've become a parent is that you have to just roll with it and be ready to constantly adapt. Second thing I've learned: kids like toys that light up and make noise. The more lights and the more noise the better. Sure the wood blocks and soft cloth toys are nice, but they don't hold the kids attention for more than 2 minutes. A good light up musical toy? The enjoyment can last for 15 minutes at a time. As a parent, those 15 minutes are golden moments to either do some laundry, dishes, go to the bathroom, take a shower, or just have a moment of sanity to yourself without one or more little people grabbing onto you begging for attention. So seeing the request for "non electric, non battery operated" toys makes me laugh. They'll learn.

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