This past week I felt great. Breastfeeding was getting easier, and we were making progress in moving from the pumping/bottle feeding routine to breastfeeding. I had M2 at about 75-80% breastfeeding, with only 1-2 bottles a day. I was only pumping every 12 hours (instead of every 2-3 hours). She was taking to the breast just fine once we had her on the medication for her acid reflux, and I was so relieved that things were going well.
Yesterday (Sunday) things started to go downhill. M2 would breastfeed for about 5 minutes, then unlatch and start crying. She'd get herself worked up into a tizzy and then refuse to latch back on. I'd spend a minute or two calming her down, and then once calm I'd try to relatch her. This would start up the crying again. We repeated this several times. Each time she calmed down, she'd start rooting for food again. It was extremely frustrating for both of us, and totally unproductive. Yesterday when she did this a few times I ended up just giving her a bottle. Overnight she breastfed pretty well, only once did she throw one of these fits. During the day today she went through the same frustrating process of crying and refusing to breastfeed after a few minutes. I spent 3 hours straight today trying to get her fed before I gave in and gave her the bottle. This was followed by me leaving a tearful message for my lactation consultant.
The LC called back and talked me off the ledge. She gave me several good ideas for how to work through this. First she explained that I need to make sure that breastfeeding remains positive for M2, so if she is crying and upset, I do not want to try offering her the breast because it will create a negative association with breastfeeding. She said that if M2 is really hungry, rather than try to force her to BF first, give her a bit of a bottle first. Giving her a bottle with 15-30 mL (1/2 to 1 ounce) will satiate her a little, then I can try getting her latched onto the breast. She also suggested that I spend a few days at home with her having some low key, quality time where I hold her a lot, practice "kangaroo care" and offer her the breast throughout the day even when she doesn't appear hungry.
Tonight she threw one of her fits while I was hosting bookclub at my house. Luckily I had two great resources in the room - an L&D nurse and a NICU nurse/post-partum doula. The two of them were great at encouraging me to keep trying, and with their professional expertise, getting their hands in and helping physically latch M2 onto the breast properly. It still took some time and patience to get M2 happy and eating on the breast, but she finally latched and ate for 20 minutes. It was great to have the support of two professionals because I was tired and would have likely given up and given her a bottle. Unfortunately I felt bad for the other two bookclub guests - after 10 minutes of hearing my baby cry and fuss, they quickly extracted themselves. Later after everyone left for the evening, I had another negative BF session where M2 threw her fit again. It is exhausting.
I'm hoping that the plan to stay home, relax, and focus on breastfeeding will be successful. I just don't know what I will do if I can't get M2 breastfeeding....I really do not want to go back to pumping 8-10 times a day, and I can't stomach the thought of switching her to formula. Say a little prayer for us that things will get resolved soon!
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