Exactly 3 months until my due date! It's crazy to think that it's been just over 5 months since we found out we were expecting again, that time has gone by fast. 5 months from now I will have an 18 month old and a 2 month old. Yikes. I keep telling Mr.P, "Those first few months with a baby and a toddler...I don't think I'm going to be a very nice person to be around." I am not a nice person when I am lacking in sleep, and I know these two are going to drain every bit of energy I have.
In some ways I am confident in my mothering abilities this time around, but at the same time I am nervous. I have moments and days where I feel like I want to rip my hair out just dealing with 1 cranky/energetic/gets-into-everything baby. How the heck am I going to watch her and tend to a needy newborn? I hope that P5 is not as challenging of a baby as M2 was. If he has reflux like she did, at least I will know the signs and be quick to address it (it wasn't until M2 was 2 months old that she was finally properly diagnosed and put on the right medicine). I hope that he breastfeeds better than she did because there is no way I'll be able to pump and bottle feed him the way I did for her.
The sciatic nerve pain has kicked in this weekend...good times. I'm currently laying on the couch with a heating pad on my back trying to ease my pain. Bending over to pick up a 20 lb toddler and constantly picking up toys/dropped food/etc does not help the situation. But I am thankful for a healthy and happy girl, and a growing, kicking boy. I am excited for our family to be complete and for us to start adjusting as a family of four. I loved watching Mr.P cuddle up with M2 when she was tiny, and I look forward to watching him with his son. I'm also anxious to see how M2 does with a new baby in the house.
I'm happy to be in the 3rd trimester, even though it can be the most painful, I want to enjoy this time. Enjoy the time I have left with just M2, and enjoy the little kicks and reminders that I am carrying another little person. I may never be pregnant again, and I don't want to focus on complaints and whines about the negative aspects (especially since I have a good friend who is struggling to get pregnant right now, how rude would that be for me to complain about pregnancy when it is the one thing she wants more than anything else?) I have another friend who is currently pregnant with her 3rd child and every word out of her mouth seems to be a negative remark about how much she hates pregnancy and can't wait for it to be over with (she had no problem concieving any of her children, and for myself having had trouble the first time and knowing so many people who have had trouble conceiving I just want to shake her and be like, "Don't you realize what a gift it is for you to be pregnant?! Suck it up and stop bitching!")
It's definitely becoming fall around here with rain and cooler weather. Tonight I was driving home from the grocery store and the wind was blowing leaves across the road. I actually really love the fall and find the weather, leaves, and crisp air to be comforting. I washed my favorite throw blanket earlier today, and I am thoroughly enjoying laying on the couch cuddled under the blanket this evening.
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